remarks from the road 4

Food-related update today esteemed subscribers!

Esteemed subscriber and cross-country driver Noah Curran and I have basically only been eating a bunch of burgers this trip. We did try to break up the monotony the entire time but when you’re going through the heartland of America, there’s nothing better.

And as such, here are our rankings:

#1 Fancy burger in Wall, SD: I remember this one being a double cheeseburger. Everything about the burger was fresh and tasted wonderful. Honestly, one of the hallmarks of a great burger is the companion vegetables alongside it. (No picture, ate it too fast).

#2 Marlin’s in Sioux Falls, SD: The epitome of an I-90 diner. Attached to a gas station, the wind blew so strongly I swore I saw a tumbleweed pass by. The diner’s waitresses were kind, and the faint taste of salt in the coffee let me know — this was a true diner. The burger was fresh, as were the onions and tomatoes within.

#3 Double cheeseburger in Yellowstone: This one was served at the grill-style restaurant in Mammoth, at the northern end of the oldest national park. It wasn’t stellar, but I liked how I could add my own onions and pickles (I am a major fan of both). The onions were chopped, though. Can’t win them all.

#4 Bison burger in Yellowstone: You can’t try too hard. You can’t be too fancy with a burger I actually abhor all of those silly medium-rare burgers that are fucking huge. Why can’t you just be a tiny silly little burger? This one wasn’t that big but it was trying too hard with the bison burger concept. Emphasis on hard, since it was a wee too bit dry for me.

#5 Milkshake Burger in Hot Springs, SD: I should not have told us to stop here. The entire restaurant was trying a bit too hard for what it was — a little diner in a tourist town. The burger was fairly okay but the novelty of the bison burger puts it above this one. Also the shake was too icy.

Now, Noah and I did stop at some McDonalds. I would never lie to my subscribers. But the reason they didn’t make the ranking is because they are simply in a class of their own.

Not like they’re superb or anything. Just ... elsewhere.

Some other notes:

• A big thanks to esteemed subscribers Eleanor Coffin and Vic Dong for helping me workshop the title for this newsletter!
• We have stopped in Spokane for the evening. Moving on to Seattle and I’ll be home by Sunday!
• Idaho is a beautiful state with terrible roads.

I think that'll be it for this road trip! Maybe I'll put out a short recap one tomorrow but for the most part, I think I'll be signing off here. See you guys on Monday!