things i think about while powerwashing 92

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I definitely am addicted to crime shows. Like police procedurals. Readers may remember NCIS obsession from a while back — thankfully that one ran its course before the show reportedly got bad. I have now switched to Criminal Minds, and my hot (freezing cold) take is that it is just SO much better than NCIS.

Most people try to ding these more character-drive police procedurals on, well, the characters. So let's start there. NCIS' main character for most of the show is a grizzled vet that really can't come to term with his own emotions, and his lack of commitment to the show really started showing when the number of lines he had was basically reduced to 5 (but he had a lot of very silent, standing screen time). The rest of the cast was shuffled out almost on a bi-seasonly basis — barely leaving you any time to get to know the characters after almost bombarding you with information about them.

But my biggest, kind of strange, pain point with NCIS is that the characters are ... too interesting. In the moment I can almost suspend my disbelief that the IT guy is also a best-selling author. Or the fact that the Mossad has a liaison to the NCIS — and the liaison is the director's daughter??? At some point it becomes so over the top that you just have to take a step back and just take it in. This show is for some people — and I'm not one of them.

Criminal Minds' more boring take into their characters make their interactions much more interesting. They're all American citizens working in the FBI. Yes, the tall skinny guy is a literal genius but we've all met someone like him at some point in our lives. The everyman character is a wannabe real estate developer (boring). The most dedicated silent/strong supervisory agent gets divorced (it b like that). One of the agents is the daughter of an American ambassad ... oh fuck it's the same again.

Maybe, I'm just a sucker for these shows.

links!

• [Esquire] Why Does Every Netflix Show Look the Same? An Investigation.
• [Ian Carroll] Bypassing airport security via SQL injection
  • Interesting read! Unsure of the impact but a good introduction to SQL injection.
• [Youtube] SHUT THE FUCK UP
• [Youtube] Chappel Roan - "Good Luck Babe!" | 2024 VMAs
  • god what a sick outfit and yes i am obsessed with this song

anonymous subscriber news

Are we bringing back music recs? Why don't you guys submit some music y'all enjoy. Also the fact that there's only one anonymous subscriber news submission some weeks is proof that these are not AI generated lol.

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• anonymous subscriber said KESHI’S NEW SONG >>>>>

animal of the week

Decided I didn't have enough of hiking and went into the woods on a random Tuesday afternoon — just to interrupt what seems to be a turkey party! Very early readers of the newsletter will remember that there were several turkeys running around the neighborhood during the pandemic. They probably came from here!

Send me your animals at ryan@torrtle.co!